In a distant country, out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord. (Psalm130:1). Looking back on my experience at the University of British Columbia Okanagan, Canada, I knew that having taken the graduate program in health services was definitely one of the actions which sound very dear first, to God, second, to humanity, and third, to me. God always has a hand in every single moment in our lives and we need time to get a glimpse of such wonders of God in prayer, meditation and reflection. As Mother Teresa said, ‘holiness is not a luxury preserved for special people, it is a simple gift offered to you’. I have been so blessed with such moments in my life which I thank God sincerely, for my leaving or returning home despite the many challenges. I have been inspired by my loneliness by being with God and that prompted me to make this reflection. As living sometimes can be hard, perhaps that is why St. Paul admonished his converts to always help one another carry their burdens (Galatians 6:1-5). Henry Nouwen was one of the great spiritual writers of the time, and with great appreciation for the inspired word of God and he encourages us to do the same in our daily living, our ministry and wherever one is (away from home). Been away, I recognized a move from a first loneliness with emotions, needing fellow brothers, friends, relatives, family and home, to a second loneliness where these needs are less met. In ones second loneliness God calls you to deep, personal intimacy through prayer, meditation and reflection. In my second loneliness, I found God as I continue to devote time for Him. It came to reality by the words of Henry Nouwen to me that if there is no parent, one can never be lost, but once lost you can be found. It happens exactly as I thought by being with God as my lonely partner. Enlightened by the Father, and knowing that he creates in me a clean heart, and put a new and right spirit within me ( Psalm 51:10). He said to me, every child is blessed, so I am blessed. We are all blessed in our every creation, and this blessing never leaves us, and will continue to remain in our mortal bodies. What else is greater than this? Within our conscious minds, no one wants to experience suffering, but suffering is a fact of life. When we accept trials in our lives, can be a blessing, and it is only the one who experiences the suffering will, at the same time experience the blessings. The blessing as a gift from God can be shared with the needy whose lives the sufferer will touch, as well as those you curse the sufferer. Let the Father forgive. The real challenge is to allow yourself to be forgiven, to be healed, and continue to be in the love of God. One of the core messages of the gospel is, “Love your enemies” (Mathew 5:44). Our Father loves all, so I will. Sometimes, we grow resentful as we grow older and particularly when our image of an ideal life evaporates , it can be most disturbing. God created us in His own image, but we can never be the same as fellows, we just need to appreciate each other. All the same, let us try to see the pain of our human and spiritual journey in the love of God. The fact is to gradually trust that life’s interruptions are the places where God is molding you into the person you are called to be, and to be loved by all. We should appreciate one another, and allow the gifts from God in us to be natured, nourished and cherished, for the benefit of the poor. Our loving God shall fill my heart with love I need for those sharing my life-journey with me. The lessons I have learned through my own pain and suffering within my stay away from home and return have been an inspiration. Patience moves mountains, and if I did not have trials, my faith couldn’t be developed because faith doesn’t know the outcome; it simply trusts God in the midst of the trial. God alone can give faith but you can be a witness. For sure, I want my faith strengthened and so I must embrace pain and suffering as opportunities in which to see God’s hand deliver me. It is okay to ask. “Why me, Lord?” Job did (Job 3), and David did (Psalm10:1), so I am privileged I too did. God doesn’t always answer the “why?’ but sometimes He does. The lesson I have learned especially through David is that it is Okay to vent before God who already knows my heart anyway. If God healed me or took my trials away all the time, instantly I would run the risk of taking Him for granted. If God were to do this, I am sure I would begin to seek His hand and not His face. For this reason, I am glad God doesn’t always calm the storm. My pain and suffering helped me define my priorities and bring them back to focus. If I did not experience occasional pain and suffering I would lose my dependence on God, which will drift me off from the love of God. When I allow them to, my trials always draw me closer to God. To return home Lord, be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. (Luke 6:36) The message from God is, have a sense of compassion for your own journey, for your own leaving and returning, an appreciation to all even those who cursed you. All shall be left unto the hands of the Lord. The love of the Father embraces not just the return of the son, but also the leaving of his child because the son is allowed to go. I sought the Lord, and he answered me…….(Psalm 34:4). That is really important because the whole movement of leaving and returning is a movement done under the loving eyes of the Father. It is important to understand that God’s love fills you and surrounds you whether you are leaving or returning, and that God waits with longing to welcome you on your return. I felt the love and protection of God very strongly for the two years of my stay in Canada. The first love is from God as I experienced, and the second from my parents, fellow brothers, friends and sisters. At times, we have the tendency to expect a first love from someone who could only give a second love. When this happens, the individual has no ability to give us the first love which is unconditional, total, self-giving love. When that happens then we become disappointed with a feeling of anguish and may even resort to violence because we demand from a person what that person cannot give. We always need to constantly reconcile the two in order to be in a good relationship. When we have nothing to offer Jesus, we can offer him our emptiness. Let us know the two levels of love, and ask appropriately and from the right person who can give the right love that we require. God alone can give love, but you can teach others to love. When we inflict pain and suffering into our neighbor, God does not want that in us. When one is happy, I am also happy. Appreciation of one another cannot be forgotten or neglected. As the word of God encourages us never to grow tired of doing what is good. The mystery of our return home is a return to the God of compassion, is a return to my fellow brothers, sisters in the human family, especially the poorest and the weakest. By heading home the Lord says to me “take care and watch yourselves closely, so as neither to forget the things that your eyes have seen nor let them slip from your mind… (Deuteronomy4:9). As the prodigal son said, “I am still the child of my Father, I still belong to someone” applies in a return home from a distant country. All that I have learned from the story of the prodigal son portrays an image of safety and return to the place where it is always safe. Perhaps the most beautiful word is for that is “the womb”, the womb of God. What could be safer than that? In our leaving and returning guided by our Mother Mary, God is with us and let us always be appreciative in giving him Thanks and praise. AMEN References 1. Henri J. M. Nouwen, Mathew 5:44, Luke 6:36, Galatians 6:1-5, Mother Teresa 2. Psalm 51:10, Psalm130:1, Job 3, Deuteronomy4:9, Mother Teresa, |
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